Jamie and I broke up on Thursday. I don't know how to deal with hurting someone like that, especially someone I love. Even thinking about trying to explain it is making me so frustrated I'm not even going to try. But I feel selfish and cruel and generally incapable of, well, holding my shit together.
On Friday I found out my grandmother has a brain tumor. She is having an operation and will be hospitalized. She currently has an on-call nurse assigned to her. We don't know the outlook, but dad's told me to keep my phone on me just in case. Again, I have no idea how to deal with this.
It's like being back in college when I had no idea what was going on or who I was or what I wanted or how I was going to live. I am being flung into myself and I don't like what I see but I don't know what to do about it.
Yeah. I'm feeling lonely and vulnerable and lethargic.
Hoping good ole Dolly will lighten the mood...
This song always reminds me of my momma. It's one of my favourites.
Night night everyone xx
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