I'm in a weird mood. Therefore I blog. Dems da rulz, yo.
No joke, something just fell down in my room and I don't know what it was and it's dark so I'm kind of scared. Because things falling down is always scary. I should be sleeping. But I feel like I just want to be with someone else who is awake right now. Or, more accurately, just be awake with someone right now. Like there is some other human out there who is awake and also listening to this ridiculous rain that can't decide whether it wants to fizzle or flood, and I would really like to talk to that human about our overlaps. Because they could tell me a thing or two about what's rattling around my head.
Relationships are scary. Self-control is hard. Patience is hard. Not worrying about every single little thing is hard. Learning how to fit into another person's life is frustrating. I'm tired of apologising for everything I do wrong, to be honest. But I still feel I need to, because everything I do is well meaning, and I need to clarify so you don't think I did anything on purpose or to make you upset. No. I'm still learning. I'll never stop messing up, because I will never perfectly understand who you are or what you want. But I sure as hell am trying. You seem to be worth it so far. Although I spend a lot of the time we are apart thinking about you in a way that would most definitely be defined as breaking the current set of boundaries we have, I can see that you are definitely someone I will love. Without a doubt. And the day will come when you are allowed over to the flat and we can do normal things together, like cooking. Or not so normal things, like sitting upside down on the couch watching Bargain Hunt. And what I really hope, beyond anything else, is that this lasts, and I don't end up being a disappointment for you.
It has been mentioned to me a few times recently by different people that I'm not so bad at this writing thing when I put my mind to it. So I've been considering writing something bigger than a blog. The hardest part is starting. I'll keep you posted.
Today I went to Milton Keynes and bought Lorde's Pure Heroine CD. Never have I ever been in so much awe over the work of a sixteen year old. It is BRILLIANT. Five gold stars from Danie. Also bought were a compilation of trance tracks, Disclosure's Settle, best of the Pet Shop Boys, Bastile's Bad Blood, and Kodaline (I've forgotten the album name). I am somewhat irked that the past few times I've been they haven't had any deadmau5 in stock. :(. I need some of that in my life.
OH OH NEWS I'M GOING ON HOLIDAY NEXT MONTH TO FUERTEVENTURA! I'm a wee bit excited.
I've got nothing else to say. Stay classy. DFTBA.
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