It's sensitive subject time.
I think God loves everyone. God wants us to live devoid of prejudice, in full equality. God gives each person trials that test their willingness to obey Him, and are meant to increase the faith and ability of that person. I believe that God's commandments will never change, as he is an unchangeable being. I believe that there is only one way to true happiness.
Believing all of this, and I mean all of it, I have a lot of difficulty deciding how the Mormon doctrine on gays (that I have found) fits into these other beliefs.
To me, denying gays a legal marriage contract is unfair, unequal, and prejudice. However, I would also be offended and outraged if equality laws forced the church to allow gays a temple marriage.
I will be the first to acknowledge that sexual orientation is not a choice, but an integral part of who we are. I also believe that it is possible to repress this identity, and that being gay is part of the 'natural man' that we are commanded to overcome.
I have not seen any healthy, effective change that has caused a gay to become straight. But neither do I think that God gives anyone temptation above that he is able (1 Corinthians 10:13). This is a trial I do not fully understand. It appears to be impossible to overcome. It seems inhumane to expect someone to overcome it and then deny them blessings because of its impossible nature.
When it comes to telling other people who they may and may not love, who they may and may not be committed to, it just feels wrong. The only way I would be okay with that is if the exhibited love was fake, and did not bring real happiness. Again, I have a hard time believing that those in homosexual relationships who desire to be committed to each other are faking love. They have loving, caring relationships. Gay couples are also effective, sensitive parents. But, for some reason I don't understand, God does not accept that kind of love.
So, I don't understand how all of these things, which I truly believe, can coexist and fit together in my mind. I am very conflicted. I love and adore the friends and acquaintances I have that are gay. I love and adore those of them who are repressing those urges, who are acting on those urges, and who will struggle their entire lives with this trial. I love them. I want them to be happy. I believe that God knows each and every person who was, who is, and who will be gay. He knows how to deal with this impossible trial they have been blessed with.
I would encourage those who are having a difficult time being gay to turn to God and ignore the hate and ignorance of the rest of the world. This is your struggle. None of the rest of us truly understand it. You are good, good people. You need to know that. And I truly apologize if this post offended you in any way. It is simply what I believe, and I needed to write this so I could figure out exactly what I think on the subject.
This might solicit comments. I'm asking that you don't argue with me or each other, but I am more than happy to hear your views on the subject. It might help me figure out mine a little more.
Thanks, peeps.
I completely agree with all of this. My views on homosexuality are that we are to love them unconditionally. We certainly don't have to embrace their philosophy into our own lives but it doesn't mean we don't love them. And it is definitely a trial God gives to some. I know of a man who is gay but is happily married to his wife and has two daughters. However, loving them does not necessarily mean condoning their actions. This church will never give homosexuals the right to an eternal marriage, not because we are cruel, but because that is not the plan God has for us. In the bible it describes gays as "without natural affection." It's not that they can't love the person they are in a relationship with but that it is not what God intended or wants for them. To man is given the priesthood and to woman the opportunity of the miracle of life (even if some us would really prefer to adopt... ^.^). It cannot be done any other way.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, though long, I hope I helped clear up the issue a bit (At least from a LDS standpoint). A really great resource is Pres. Boyd K. Packer's talk from the Seminary Centennial entitled "How to Survive in Enemy Territory." He described the church's standpoint perfectly.
I guess there's another thing I have an issue with--the whole it's not natural thing. It makes it sound like people choose it, but in actuality it is natural. It's something people are born with. But I totally get where you're coming from.
ReplyDeleteI believe that one of the reasons we do not allow gays to get married in the temple is because God instituted marriage to be between a man and a wife. Kyrie's example of the man she knows is great! He was able to suppress the urges he had and is now able to follow what the proclamation to the family says. I believe that the church urges members to love gay or lesbian people and not to discriminate against them. Because of the many attacks from the world on the sacred institution of marriage and family we have to be very careful with this subject. Here is a link to an article from lds.org and the article has some other great links at the bottom as well. http://www.lds.org/topics/same-gender-attraction?lang=eng&query=document+proclamation+family
ReplyDeleteSorry it came up in such a weird format. Not quite sure why it did...
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the reasons I stopped believing in the church. To me, if there are two contradictory statements, then one must be false. If God loves everyone equally, then everyone ought to have equal rights. If a church purporting to be God's denies equal rights to all members, then either God does not love everyone equally, or it is not God's church. Not to mention the fact that doctrine *does* change. The church no longer advocates reparative therapy, and they have stopped saying that gays are an abomination.
ReplyDeleteJust as everyone is given different spiritual gifts, everyone is given different challenges. Phrases like, "Wow, they're unnaturally gifted at piano," can be seen from two different perspectives: The person you're talking about may certainly have an ability that is not natural to you, but they're talents are certainly natural for them. To say that homosexual tendencies are unnatural is true and false--such tendencies aren't natural for most, and they are not condoned by God; to gays and lesbians, however, the trial certainly is natural, whether or not they see it as a trial and whether or not they know is wrong. Though temptations come from all different angles, none should be justified by any means, including diversity. If we are ignorant, the Spirit can confirm the error of our ways. If we are already aware and want to change, God can help us. Either way, however, the choice is up to the individual.
ReplyDeleteWe're commanded not to judge. Love the sinner, hate the sin. Whether or not gays ought to be given legal marriage depends on your opinion. Whether or not they ought to be given celestial marriage, however, is a matter free of mortal opinion--and thank goodness! Pause. That sounded offensive. Thank goodness there is a moral bar set in general for temple marriage and all ordinances. Thank goodness God does not allow us to be where we will be uncomfortable, and thank goodness he has provided us a Way to become clean that we may be comfortable in the presence of His Spirit and in His holy places.
I think I had many other thoughts to share, but they're floating around and won't come down. Sam and Jamie told me that the church has a website totally devoted to this topic, and Sam mentioned also Elder Anderson's talk "Trials of Our Faith."
This is important, though: Never get so caught up in details or questions that you have that you forget the pure and beautiful basics. God lives. We are all His children, and He loves all of us, regardless the many paths we travel. Jesus is the Christ. He has suffered everything for us, whether or not we accept His sacrifice.